12 Dos and Don’ts of Breaking Up

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Ending a relationship is never easy and can be just as emotionally exhausting as getting dumped. Before calling things off, you should weigh the reasons for walking out. Once you are sure, though, it’s important to remember that your soon-to-be ex was once your love. You should be honest without being cruel and compassionate without giving the person hope. With a little tact and thoughtfulness, you can end the relationship and lessen the potential emotional damage.

12 Do's and Don'ts of Breaking Up - Splendry

1. DON’T PUT IT OFF

Dumping someone is like sacking an employee or ripping a band aid off a hairy body part: there’s never a good time to do it. So once you’ve decided don’t put it off and act ASAP.

2. DO IT IN PERSON

Obviously if you care about the person, do it in person and don’t do it over the phone, by text, or by email. Talking face-to-face with the person allows honest dialogue and closure. But so much is left unanswered or unresolved by ending things via phone or text.

3. DON’T BREAK UP AND MAKE UP

Be wary about getting back together after breaking up. In many cases-though not all- you end up breaking up again for the same reason as the first time. Make sure you’re ending the relationship for the right reasons, and resist the temptation to fall back into old habits.

4. DO BE CLASSY

Be polite, kind and respectful during the dumping and afterwards. No spiteful accusations or petty recriminations are necessary.

5. DON’T TRY TO BE FRIENDS

It’s hard to go cold turkey when separating from your former love. In fact it is so hard that you may be tempted to go down the buddy road. To truly move on you need to have time apart from your ex to heal properly.

6. DO TREAT YOURSELF WELL

Since your best friend can’t be there 24/7 to tell you you’re amazing, shower yourself with the TLC that you deserve. Develop a workout routine, book a massage or manicure and practice self-care. You need extra love and care at this vulnerable point in your life.

7. DON’T AVOID SAYING WHY YOU WANT TO BREAK UP

You might be tempted to sugar coat the reasons but the best policy is honesty. The person has the right to know what went wrong in the relationship. Don’t leave them guessing or assuming the worst. It’s better to be honest and have it sting at first, than to lie and let it hurt them worse in the long run.

8. DO MAKE A CLEAN BREAK

The suggestion of a trial separation or time apart only prolongs the pain and gives the other person false hope. Also make sure you keep those rose-colored glasses at bay in the weeks after the break up.

9. DON’T FACEBOOK STALK YOUR EX

It’s normal to feel curious about your ex after being in a relationship with them. It feels totally unnatural to cut yourself off from someone who used to be your best friend. But it won’t be comforting to try and make that connection by keeping up to date with your ex’s daily life.

10. DO SOMETHING CREATIVE

When something destructive happens in your life, create something to restore the balance. Creativity is a wonderful way to heal a broken heart. You get passionate with a project and in the process you not only create a satisfying result, but you also have a sense of accomplishment.

11. DO VENT EVERYTHING IN A JOURNAL

You can say everything you need to say in private. You need to let it all out, just not publicly. Writing can be very cathartic.

12. DON’T OVERSHARE ALL YOUR EMOTIONS OVER SOCIAL MEDIA

No one wants to read about your breakup woes on social media. If you feel compelled to share something to the entire Internet because you are so hurt that may be a sign to temporarily deactivate your social media accounts.

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Julie

Julie

Julie is an international freelance writer living in Sydney, Australia. Her main topics of interest are spirituality, beauty, health and relationships. When she's not busy writing she’s caring for her father who has dementia and brother who is intellectually handicapped. She finds so much joy and fulfillment in dedicating her life to looking after her family.
Julie

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