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Things No One Told You: Running

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“Running makes you feel sooo amazing!” “It’s so addictive, you’ll be running a marathon in no time!”

Blah. There are plenty of things people will tell you about running, but here are a few things no one told you:


1. You can run, and not be a runner: Just because I’m regularly attempting a couple of miles on the treadmill does NOT mean it comes easy. Or that I even like it. Run for five minutes? Sure! Run for 30 minutes? Yeah, just LET ME LOOK AT MY WATCH EVERY TWO SECONDS UNTIL I’M DONE.

2. Start small: The first time I went for a run with my husband back when we were dating I thought, “How hard can this be? It’s just a 20 minute run and I ran in gym class back in 9th grade!” This story ends about like you’d expect. Half a block in stopping with side pain and slow death from humiliation.

3. People don’t know how to drive: If you run outside on city streets or in a neighborhood you are probably aware that people in cars won’t know what to do with you. No car, you don’t need abruptly jerk to the opposite side of the road a quarter mile before you approach me. How much room do you think I’m taking up? It’s daytime, I see you, and I promise I won’t throw myself onto the hood of your car as you pass. Also, if I approach an intersection with a stop sign on my side, I’m going to stop if I see you coming (when you don’t have a stop sign). Please don’t then also stop and try to wave me through. We could be waving each other on for 5 minutes. (“Oh no, after you!”) For the love, just drive and follow the laws of traffic!

4. Running in groups can be fun! Or make you feel bad about yourself!: Running friends sound great! Just not as great as having the option to stop running after about 6 minutes WITHOUT your judgement, thank you very much.

5. You’ll need a bathroom break at a really inopportune time: Like, any time while running is inopportune. I guess I should be glad there aren’t portable public restrooms just lining the streets where I live, but really, one would come in handy, occasionally.

6. You won’t look cute:  Want to feel really good about yourself? Try checking out the “official” run photos from races. You’ll look awesome and like you just stepped out of a Nike commercial! Just kidding. You’ll actually look pretty gross, tired, and in some instances you’ll think, “What am I even doing in that photo? What’s wrong with my arms? What kind of a weird stride is that? What face am I making? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?” Then you’ll want to publicly apologize for running outside where people can see you. Sorry, world.

7. You’ll truly understand a love/hate relationship: I look forward to running, I love the way I feel when I’m done. 10 minutes in? Pure hatred. And yet, I keep coming back! (Maybe this is a psychological issue I need to deal with…)

Anything to add to the list? Share below!

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